Y'shua | יֵשׁוּעַ
... a light for the revelation of the Gentiles.
And a glory to your people Israel.
Isaiah 49:6 CJB| Luke 2:32 AENT
When to be still. When to act.
"You say YAH told you:
“Not that computer. A better computer.”
Why are you still trying to repair it?"”
(Quote my wife 3/19/13)
The Blue Screen of death! No, this can't be happening! Not my trusty Dell! Shut it down! Take a break! When you come back it will work. The restart after a break proves the same thing; total malfunction. This can't be happening! But it is. Now what? Ever the mechanic, I roll into symptom diagnosis and attempt repair. Is it hardware? Is it software? Then the thought hits! Oh NO! I don't have a backup! Slowly, reality seeps in like the silence of a car that will not start. But this is worse! Irreplaceable data lost forever? It just can't be!
My first action was to cry out to YAH, praying for help repairing or at least recovering data. There was no money for a new computer. This one has got to be repaired, but first the data recovery. How many times did I pray: "YAH, please help me recover the data before it completely dies!"
Starting the computer in repair mode, I am relieved to see that the data is still there. ("Praise YAH!) My sole mission changes from computer repair to data recovery. Something like “save the passengers but the ship is doomed”! Over a period of two weeks, with a lot of prayer and work I was able to transfer data to an external hard drive. Once that was done, I gave thanks and started the work of ground up computer repair. That's when I heard The-VOICE-: "Not that computer!" "A better computer!" Hearing that I stopped cold and started praying. "YAH! Now what? I can't afford a new one! Instead of standing still and trusting YAH, I went back to work. My response? I did not follow what The-VOICE- asked of me January 2010 (“How deeply are you going to trust ME?) Instead I rationalized my actions trusting my skills not YAH. –My thinking was: When I repair my Dell with new parts, it will be as the Ruach said "Not that computer and a better one."
Emboldened by my rationalization, I went to work. The results were discouraging, with failure after failure. I refused to give up. Finally Sunday, Monday and Tuesday (17, 18, 19 March 2013) I worked fruitlessly from early morning until late at night absolutely determined to repair my trusty Dell notebook computer. On Tuesday 19 March 2013, my wife looked at me in despair and said: "If YAH told you: “Not that computer” “A better computer”; why are you still trying to repair it?"
Knowing that she was right and feeling very foolish, I set the computer aside and gave up. It was hard. To give up is not in my nature! On top of that I was so sure that by effecting repairs, I was following what the Ruach had said! What to do now? Nothing! Drop it. It's now Wednesday 20 March 2013 and Pesach is just days away. Priorities have to change. There is a house to clean, a Family Seder to plan and organize, food to buy. The list goes on and on! And we look forward to my daughter arriving on Friday just in time for Erev Shabbat. So Wednesday and Thursday is work and Friday she was to arrive.
It's Friday and I catch the bus to the airport to greet my daughter. Bus rides are a great time for prayer, thinking, planning and note taking. All the way to the airport I am praying and thinking about the unsuccessful computer repair asking YAH to show me where I went wrong. “Please show me how to repair it!” After all, the routine is: --YAH speaks and we do--. Right? So? HE spoke and I went to work! Still confused as to where I went wrong, and still praying; the bus arrives at the airport. My focus changes to the excitement of greeting my daughter.
After a short wait I see her walking toward me carrying two hands full of bags and rolling luggage. I give her a big hug and take the package from her ---and am stunned--- it weighs a million pounds! The handles dig into my hands and my arm is quickly tired. What in the world is she carrying; correction, what am I carrying? Never mind! In our excitement, we find a cab and load in. I am glad to be rid of that lead weight!
As we drive home, the computer story is still fresh on my mind. I tell Jessica the long version of the broken computer story and my unsuccessful repair. After my first few sentences she let out a huge sigh, but allowed me to continue. I thought I was boring her. When I was done she quietly said to me: "Yesterday as I was working, I heard the Ruach tell me to give you my excess and unneeded Dell desktop computer. That is what you were carrying." She knew nothing of my computer problems from the last three weeks. She just heard the Ruach and was obedient.
We looked at each other in stunned silence. Here was the computer YAH promised me. (“Not that computer!” “A better computer!”) Then the joy of understanding the way YAH had talked to both of us and was teaching us filled that cab as it raced down the turnpike. Tremendous happiness just filled the air as we praised and thanked YAH. Our driver, who is from Ethiopia and is a Believer, shared our joy!
What a lesson! I was too focused on MY efforts to understand that YAH wanted to teach and bless me. What YAH was really saying was "STOP" "TRUST ME" "LET ME DO IT"
When we pray, listen and are obedient, YAH does powerful things, both small and large! When we don't trust HIM thinking that we are the ones to do it; we sink into confusion, chaos and failure.
Dear YAH, help us ALL to absolutely, completely, and only trust YOU. Help us to pray earnestly. Help us to hear your Ruach and to be immediately obedient!
Help us to know when to be silent, watching YOU work!
Help us to know when to, hearing YOU, step out act in faith!
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